Final Words (a lot of them)

This class has been a very interesting experience for me and has been great for reflection on my college experiences thus far. It has allowed me the chance to reevaluate my priorities and how I go about leading.  It was also fun to think about how my leadership style has changed (or stayed the same) since high school.  Being surrounded by first year students reminded me of myself when two years ago when I was still trying to find my place at this big university.  I had a grasp on things, but wasn't totally sure where I fit in.  I've been able to apply this understanding of others better in some of student orgs better because of the interesting class dynamic (one of the student orgs I lead is all first year students).

I've also been able to apply some practices from The Art of Possibility, my partner book.  The book has challenged me to be more confident in myself and more positive about people and situations.  Recently, when situations seem frustrating rather than throwing in the towel I think to myself, "This is the way things are...so how are you going to react?" It has taken a lot of discipline but I feel like it is making me a better leader, bit by bit.  I try to think about the authors' patient understanding in situations and most importantly, to not take things so seriously. Nobody gets out alive, right? Might as well make the  most of things while we have the chance!

The last chapter of Exploring Leadership asked if I was an exhausted, existing, or exciting leader.  This gave me a lot to think about.  I thought of myself in different organizations and jobs and how I felt in each position.  There are some things where I just exist.  I show up. I do the bare minimum.  People say hello but conversation never never gets past the surface talk.  Other times, I'm excited and energized.  When I am doing the right things, everyone knows me as the most energetic person in the room without the need for caffeine.  I have a personal excitement for things I love and care about, but it is sometimes hard to distinguish what I actually care for and which I feel obligated to do.  I just said it's sometimes hard to distinguish, but at the same time looking at it now it seems pretty clear in my head the things I am passionate about.  I actually am excited for those! I don't mind going to meetings, in fact I look forward to them.

The last part of the awareness is exhausted.  Let me tell you, I have been there.  And I'm happy to say I'm not anymore.  There are days now when I'm tired sure, feel overwhelmed but never like how I used to be.  My sophomore year, I was completely in over my head in every aspect of my life. Tons of things were changing in my family and I wasn't totally sure where I fit in.  My roommate and I, who used to be my best friend, didn't speak anymore.  I had no idea what to do, so what did I do? I found every single way to never be at home and got involved in tons of things.  Pretty sure I was in like 6 organizations at one time. I laugh at that now and think, "Good one, Marlee." I was spread so thin and was beyond stressed all the time. It was kind of sad! Going into my junior year, I decided I just couldn't do that again.  Nobody likes that person that makes you feel stressed just by their presence.  So, I evaluated all my priorities and involvements.  What did I have to do? Class, work, sleep 7-8 hours. What did I love to do? Mentor, sing, hang out with friends. What was I doing just because? And with that, my life was way more manageable.  I no longer felt this heavy burden all the time.  It was funny reading this part in the book because even though I didn't know it, I was going through the three E's and defining them in my life.

One concept I think about differently since we discussed it in class in depth is the power and structure in an organization and how they are divided.  I usually just though most were and should be the traditional pyramid structure.  You've got the head honcho on top calling all the shots, the supporters, and then everyone else.  I never thought to flip that pyramid upside down and put the power into the people or to take it away completely and put everyone into a webbed circle. It also made me think about the organizations I'm in that have titles but that may not necessarily mean anything. Just because I am President, do I make decisions for me or driven by the group or do we all make decisions together?

This is my second leadership class and while neither was what I expected really, I think they have been important for me in evolving my leadership lens and skills.  By studying the different principles and ideas of leadership, I can make connections and for example, put the name of a theory into something I've always done.  It also opens my eyes to different ideas.  If everyone were exactly like me, despite what I may say, the world would be a very boring place.  Learning about the diversity in leadership has help me to become an accepting and open leader.  When you not only know how people work, but also how to make those same people work together better you are a true leader. The class has taught me that equally important as knowing who you are is knowing who you are leading.  These people will define your successes essentially and it is up to you to decide who you work with them.  Is it an arm's length or is it side by side?

I probably won't be taking anymore leadership classes in college because of the semester conversion and graduation so I will have to pursue my leadership education in different ways.  I think the classes I have taken have given me a good base to be a knowledgeable and aware leader.  They have opened the door for me to reach out to staff if I ever need help or advice.  By using that base, my experiences will define who I am as a leader ultimately.  Although reading a book about leadership has helped to heighten my awareness, my real lessons in leadership have come from actually experiencing things.  You can't just read something in a book and understand it.  You have to be challenged in real life to truly understand and make an impressionable mark.

I will continue to learn about leadership through these experiences I have had and will have.  It is about to be one crazy and pivotal year in my life so I know there will be plenty! I also really like to read books similar to The Art of Possibility.  While they may not always be "life changing" they help to remind me of ways to improve and become a better.  It puts my leadership on the forefront rather than the back burner and is a personal journey, rather than one shared with a class.

My personal philosophy on leadership is constantly evolving.  I just read my blogs from fall quarter and laughed at the things that have changed since then! But, there are a few things that have remained fairly constant for me.  I like to bring excitement and energy into a group.  Relationships are HUGE for me (woop woop Relational Leadership Model!) and I get my energy from working with others.  Something I always strive for is to lead by example.  I think there is no better way to lead than to be the definition of it. Alas, that is hard to do all the time and everybody is human and makes mistakes but it is something to work towards! Like Ben Z. said in The Art of Possibility, goals are there to work towards but you aren't a failure if you don't accomplish them.

                                                              My next "leadership" read!
I'm also happy! And I like to bring that sunshine to other people, but in a genuine way!  I really think sometimes laughter is the best medicine and the best way to bond with a group is not at a meeting but at dinner or getting drinks together on the weekend.  People shouldn't be scared to "get real" and find out who they are working with.  I like to do that.  I like to bring out the best in others.  I like to help people become a better versions of themselves (it's the Developer in me). So for me, leadership isn't just about me.  It's about you. And you. And you.  And that person over there too.   It's a group effort and as the cliche goes, there is no I in team!

Life is an adventure, so make the most of it!  I'm off to Chicago in a few days and I think as long as I remember everything I've learned in the last 3 years and beyond, I will be just fine. It's a little nerve racking at times, but I'm thinking of it as my next big adventure! So, see you in the Fall (or summer?) Buckeyes!  Until then...

The Art of Possibility

I had no idea I had actually heard of some of the principles of The Art of Possibility until I began reading it.  You see, last quarter I took a class entitled “Personal Creativity and Innovation.”  Best class ever, everyone should take it.  Anyways, my professor was pretty much the coolest person I’ve ever met and he once told us about this book he read where anytime someone would make a mistake, the author would reply with “How Fascinating!” So as I start to read TAOB, I come across that line and laughed because everything has truly come full circle.  In fact, once I finish writing this blog, I am going to email my professor from last quarter to tell him I finally read this book!

So plain and short, this book is awesome.  Aside from being a super easy read, it has a ton of concepts that really stretch a person out of their comfort zone.  The book focuses on the importance of relationships within a group and how to improve those relationships.  As I was reading, I found myself recalling on the Relational Leadership Model and how it can be used in action.  The book is written by a couple, Roz and Ben, who discuss 12 practices to help a person “transform one’s professional and person life” in a creative and different way.  It’s not about telling you everything you are doing wrong (in fact, they are against that thought entirely). It’s more about rearranging the tools in the toolbox to help make work easier and maybe even more fun.

The 12 Practices:

1.     It’s All Invented

2.     Stepping into a Universe of Possibility

3.     Giving an A

4.     Being a Contribution

5.     Leading from Any Chair

6.     Rule Number 6

7.     The Way Things Are

8.     Giving Way to Passion

9.     Lighting a Spark

10.  Being the Board

11.  Creating the Frameworks for Possibility

12.  Telling the WE story

Like I mentioned earlier, these concepts weren’t entirely new to me because of the class I took last quarter.  I was familiar with these types of ideals, but didn’t have a thorough knowledge.  After reading the book, I found myself thinking of ways to implement these practices into my life and leadership practices.  I am a very relational leader and put tons of energy into a group’s dynamic, so I really appreciated Ben and Roz’s take on the possibilities. I could relate to so many of the concepts and I was reading thought, “Duh! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?” It all just makes sense.  Now don’t get me wrong, just because I said I am a relational leader doesn’t mean there are some differences between myself and the book.  There are lots, but hopefully I can improve on these things.  The thing I struggled most with throughout reading was the huge underlying factor of trust. Trust in the universe. Trust in other people.  Trust in oneself.  Trusting that if you are passionate enough, things will work out.  I agree with this, but it is wayyyyyy easier said than done.  I  am constantly struggling with trust and losing control in a situation, which is something the authors talk about extensively.

                                                The book says to think like this, spreading ideas and 

                                                 building new ones instead of in a downward spiral of negativity.

My favorite part of the book was probably a little something called “Rule Number 6.” Rule Number 6 basically means don’t take yourself too seriously. Anytime you are feeling incredibly overwhelmed or stressed out, lighten up!  The authors say that “humor and laughter are perhaps the best way we can get over ourselves” and I totally agree.  Sometimes I feel like I get so stressed and just take everything way too seriously.  People aren’t pulling their weight in a group project,  I’m 3 minutes late to work (yes, I’m one of those people), or random happenings that I don’t plan for can leave me feeling a tad crazy.  Remembering the importance of having fun and laughing is a great way to be humbled back down to earth and to keep your sanity.

Another practice I really liked was “Giving an A.” The idea of this is anytime you are going into a situation, you should give yourself and others an A.  People perform their best when they feel they have nothing to lose so by giving them A’s, you are setting them up for success.  Personally, I sometimes feel like I am not worthy when leading in a group so the book also emphasizes giving an A to the leader as well.  Everyone is on an equal playing ground and you can therefore, move forward rather than keep trying to impress each other.  Labels are stupid.  Every person has their purpose and deserves to be here.

Like I’ve mentioned, the book brings up a lot of novel ideas that are very different in the way most people think.  They tend to be optimistic and compassionate but something I kept thinking as I was reading was, “Man, you’ve got to be a mature person to be able to do this.”  One section in particular that I thought was very interesting, and challenging, was Being the Board.  In this practice, you put blame to the side.  You accept what is and you don’t blame others or yourself.  This would be so hard to do! I feel like people are always trying to prove that they aren’t wrong or something isn’t their fault, but this book is telling us to do the opposite.  By blaming, you are putting yourself into a downwards spiral of negativity and it only brings you down.  Being the Board helps you and the group move forward without dwelling on things.

I’m really excited to put The Art of Possibility to practice in my own life.  A few small changes could make a huge impact in my leadership skills and personal life.  It will take tons of practice and self-control, but I think that if I truly buy into the practices, I will be a much more developed person.  I also hope to use some of these concepts and activities they discussed in my groups next year to share the message of the book.  This book has helped open my eyes to the potential I have and the potential within others.  I better understand how to empower others and tweak my thinking to be progressive, not destructive.  Now, to wait and see all the possibilities that will come my way…

That Change Will Do You Good

President Gee is a smart guy. He's pretty cool, too.  And the fact that he has that quote on his wall makes him even cooler.  I mean seriously, college is the epitome of change and how awesome is it to know that the guy leading us not only accepts change, but embraces it? This quote has so much relevance to my life in many different contexts, whether it be personal, group settings or professional.  To me, this quote reminds me of the importance of growth in one's life. (No, not your growth in inches or else I'd be failure)  I've always said that one thing I truly value is that idea of never being stagnant or complacent.  So you improved an event's attendance. How can you do even better? What changes can you make to improve?

Change is at the center of this concept. You've got point A. And you've got point B.  In life, generally speaking, you have to get from one to the other.  But in the mean time, allllll these things pop up that you didn't except.  You got a job! You didn't get into your top choice of school, boo! The list goes on and on.  And before you know it, that straight line from A to B has become a mash up of lines and scribbles that look like they have no rhyme or reason.  But those changes in the plan called life are what life is really about.  You can't plan for everything.  It is simply impossible and you'd probably never sleep from the anxiety of it all.  Change takes you from something good and transforms it to something great.

This change is vital to group settings as well.  Like the video alluded to, if we were being governed the same way we were being governed hundreds of years ago, America would be a very different place.  If we didn't welcome change, we'd still be washing our clothes by hand and sending snail mail (which is still cool).   If you aren't a mover and shaker (or at the minimum, an acceptor), you should expect to be irrelevant. In your groups, it is important to be that person who wants to become great, and excellent, and superior, and beyond. As a leader, you want to push your group to surpass expectations.  To be something in this world is to make a difference.

Yes, change is uncomfortable and scary, I can tell you that first hand.  This summer, I'm moving to a city I've been to for 12 hours, living with people I don't know, and working a job where I have no idea what to expect.  I'm nervous! The fear of the unknown is indeed scary, but it's also exhilarating.  No matter what the outcome of this summer, I know I will have grown as a person.  My experiences will be richer and I will be a better person for it. So yes, change is worth it.

Typology of Change:

Adjustment is a pretty easy to change to make that won't make too big of an impact.  An example of an adjustment is changing the order of events in a meeting.  Maybe you usually have an intro game, then a speaker, then group time.  An adjustment would be having group time first instead of last.
An isolated change would be one that has little to no impact on the rest of the group. An example would be a a few people in a group project changing their responsibilities so their strengths are capitalized. Far-Reaching Change would be something that seems like it would be a big change, but internally is really isn't.  An example of this could be changing the titles and responsibilities of an executive board in a student organization.   Lastly, transformational change is significant in both depth and pervasiveness. An example could be a collaboration or acquisition of two businesses, like Sears and K-Mart. There would be two different company cultures that would have to diverge and transform to become one.






 

Evaluating Groups

I have had a unique college experience in the fact that I am a founding member of one of my student groups.  We are a mixed a capella group on campus, focusing primarily on contemporary and radio hits.  This group has become like a family to me, but we have definitely had a lot of hard times- especially since I have seen it all from the beginning.  As I was reading through Chapter 7, I  initially thought of one of my other student groups and was struggling to make connections with how I would explain it in my blog.  I thought, "This is going to be confusing...what other groups am I in?" Oh right! The one I spend about 6 hours with every week!  It all clicked fairly easily and I was able to recall many of the instances and people as described in the book.

Forming
Now, as I mentioned, forming for me in this group is very literal.  We started at the end of last fall through an effort by a Grad student to start an "acapella revolution" at OSU.  Before my group was even official, there was tons of conflict on how to choose members.  One guy stepped up to "lead" the situation and he auditioned people with another group leader.  They argued over lots of people to try and split the talent, but at the end we ended up with a solid group.  As a group, we decided our meeting times to practice would be twice a week (Tuesday/Sunday nights) and that we would communicate via a Facebook group online.  We thought of Executive Board positions and each of their responsibilities. We also agreed that one of those positions should be a Social Chair and that each member would be required to attend at least one "social" event like dinner after practice, karaoke, etc.  We all started to become friends and I began viewing these people less as "acapella people" and more as friends I would hang out with on the weekend.

Storming
Now comes the storming.  Actually, sometimes I think we randomly go through the storming process and that it isn't just a one time thing.  Especially with a new student organization.  There's a HUGE learning curve.  It started to become clear at the end of last year that there was a divide in the vision and purpose of the group.  Some were in it for the soul purpose of singing and having fun, while others wanted to become a competitive group.  It was, like the book said, that awkward elephant in the room.  Some would chat during practice while other members would continually be hushing the others and telling them to focus.  There was just a disconnect between people.  It all eventually mounted when our President quit the group and decided this wasn't what he wanted.  This was a really big deal because up until a few months before that, this group was the apple of our President's eye.  It was a shocker and nobody really knew where to go.  It was clear there were a lot of issues to discuss so we eventually had a group meeting to discuss issues people may have, coping, etc.  Times of trial are where I think people truly show their role in a group and this time was no exception.  We had plenty of opinion givers (maybe too many?), a blocker, and a few others trying to bring everyone together as summarizers and mediators (227).  It was a tense night, but it was necessary for our group.  For months, we had been carrying on as if we had no issues but it took an influential member leaving to make us really take notice of the situation.

Norming
Since the storming incident, our group has fallen into a fairly comfortable norming routine.  Each practice starts about 5-10mins after the actual time so people can say hello and catch up.  We end each Sunday practice  a few minutes late so everyone and the group can say a Happy/Crappy about their week.  Expectations have been set for group members to respond to emails and gig information in a timely manner.  We also usually begin each rehearsal with important news such as gigs coming up, new songs, and more.  This helps to get everyone in the right mindset.

Performing
Performing is what we do, literally.  We have started goal setting in our group, but not to the point of SMART goals (I'll be honest- it kind of drives me nuts. The J in me coming out).   We try to do as many gigs as possible and these are often every refreshing for us.  Sometimes, rehearsing and spending so much time together can make everyone a little crazy but performing for others is what we love to do.  It helps us to remember why we started in the first place and how much farther we have to go.  I fully expect to go through these stages again, probably more towards the beginning of nest year, as the group decides whether we want to compete in a national competition or not.  While it is uncomfortable at times, ultimately it is healthier for the group and helps us to move on and accomplish goals, whatever those may be.

                                                     Performing for President Gee- Yay!

I haven't known a group to dissolve itself.  It just seems like something people don't want to do because it is admitting that you (or the group) has lost sight of the vision and there is no way to recover.  Dissolving is kind of like admitting failure and people don't really want to do that.  I don't know if I can think of any specific groups that should completely dissolve because I feel like with proper intervention, there are still ways for them to get back to their roots.  It will take lots of work, maybe a few awkward discussions, and evaluations of the organization but it is possible.  I know that I personally would have trouble dissolving a group just because of personal ties that I may have formed with the people in the group and the group itself.  It is a hard thing to admit that you have let something get so far away from you that the only solution is to start over. 

Getting to Know You

My Jung typology is ENFJ- Extroverted, iNtuitive , Feeling, and Judging.  This combination is me to the tee. As an extrovert, I get my energy from people and thrive in social situations.  I have always been an active participant in groups and a social butterfly when I am out with friends.  I love to talk to people and form relationships.  I like to help people reach their full potential and make deeper connections, rather than just surface talk.  Something that plays into my sociability when taking into consideration my NFJ is that I also need time alone.  While I get my energy from others, I tend to overwhelm myself with commitments and responsibilities.  I  always need time to recharge my batteries alone so I can keep up with myself.

I thought it was funny reading in the book that only 25% of people lead with intuition rather than sensing, but for me that is the only way I really function.  I've always been someone who gets annoyed with strict rules and super rational people.  In my mind, the incredibly rational people are dry and not creative.  I am a big picture person who is constantly looking to improve myself, others, and everything around me.  Being stagnant isn't what I do.  While I do draw from past experiences sometimes, I think every situation is new and different and therefore, should be treated that way. 

Leading into my rant against rationality is the very obvious realization that I am an F.  I don't like thinking too much about things.  There's only so much my brain knows, but my gut feeling matters more.  Lending a hand to my E, my F enables me to make strong relationships and friends with people.  I have also been told many a time by many different people that I am too emotional.  I definitely take my feelings and emotions into consideration into decisions because I feel like I trust them more than my head.  Even though some may think that is crazy, I am just very passionate and care deeply about people and things.  So what if I shed a few tears in the process?!

My J is something I have definitely noticed over the past few years and it sometimes drives me nuts.  I'm the type of person that needs a deadline to get something done.  If I don't have a deadline, I literally will not do it or will wait months to complete a task.  Procrastinating at its finest.  I also HATE loose ends.  I like to end every meeting of mine with a recap just to make sure I have covered every point necessary.  I am very driven and ambitious, but like to think I am flexible as well which is kind of anti J. 

Altogether, my ENFJ is known as "The Giver."  I don't want to beat a dead horse because I'd be repeating basically everything above but if you want to learn more about it click here!

Talents/strengths:

I think one of my best talents is communicating with others, which is incredibly helpful in leadership positions.  Since I was little, I've been known as a talker.  I like to think since then, I have improved on communicating as a whole.  As a leader, I was great at talking but not always the best at listening. Talking + Listening= Communication.  Now, I like to consider both. Delivering a message is just as important as taking in what others have to say.  When you do both of these, you can truly communicate and get things done.  I also feel like I am very intuitive when it comes to picking up on non-verbal communication.  I can often sense when people are feeling off or situations are getting awkward.  I pride myself in being able to eloquently state opinions and facts, without offending others. 

Another talent I think I excel at is being a positive thinker.  I try to exude optimism and faith in myself and others.  I think positivity can only help a situation, while negativity can make it worse.  I've never been one to dwell on problems, but instead try to figure out how to make the best of it and look for the opportunities that will come of it.  This may play into my religious faith a little, but I truly think everything happens for a reason so you should one be negative and sad? Think of all the things in your life that have happened from situations that seemed hopeless at one time.  You wouldn't be who you are today.  That's my outlook and I try to spread that little bit of cheer to others!

                                                    This is the background on my computer :) Spreading the joy!

Relationships in Leadership

To me, the Relational Leadership Model is kind of a lot of "no-brainer" ideas put into shapes in a model.  The concept that ideas like empowerment and inclusivity add to the process and outcome of a leader are pretty general, but these can sometimes be hard to put into practice.  It is easy to say you are a leader.  It is pretty easy to acquire power from others.  But to become the type of leader that is action-oriented, respected, and relationship-based is not an easy feat.  I'm a few years older than most people in this class, but in a way it's a good thing because I have had two more years to reflect on my leadership styles and strengths, as well as how they've changed since I've come to college. And I've reflected a lot, trust me.

This first thing I connected strongly with in Chapter 3 were the components "knowing-being-doing."  These words not only take into account what is going on inside a leader's head, but how they interact with others.  Empowering is huge for me as a leader.  If you have a group who does not care about your cause or purpose how will you accomplish anything? I think it is important to support people, especially students, to be self-sufficient leaders.  By empowering them and letting them make mistakes, you are instilling a trust in the relationship that strengthens the effort towards the ultimate cause.  It is not enough for people to participate in the organizations I lead.  I want them to be actively participating, learning, and being leaders in their own right.  That way, when the day comes for me to graduate I know I have 5 student leaders who are skilled in critical thinking, relationship developing, and communicating.

Like I said earlier, I have reflected a lot on my leadership tendencies over the past few years.  I try my best at it, but something I struggle with in the Relational Leadership Model is Inclusiveness.  It can be hard when you have been in an organization for years and then new people come in who are different from your old friends.  I will admit to not always being the most warm and welcoming person but the change is sometimes uncomfortable.  What I have known for years has evolved into something different and I sometimes struggle with embracing that.  I'm not terrible by any means, but it is definitely something I think about and have to work on actively.

I have met and seen lots of leaders in my life but my favorite one and the one I looked up to the most was a friend of mine who graduated.  This girl was the epitomy of a Relational Leader.  Her relationships with others were what made her such a unique leader in the midst of all the selfishness in the world.  She worked towards a cause and inspired others to go with her. She did not stoop down to others levels, but challenged her followers to rise up to the challenges that they would face.  She helped form me into the leader I am today.  She wasn't the loudest person in the room, nor the smartest.  But she listened, thought carefully, and cared deeply about the  people she worked with.  There was a mutual respect and nobody wanted to let her down.  When I am leading a group, I try to channel her actions so I can better myself.  I hope that after I graduate college, I can lave a mark like that on someone else.  By creating relationships in student orgs, you are deepening the connections between people and in turn, strengthening your organization.