Final Words (a lot of them)

This class has been a very interesting experience for me and has been great for reflection on my college experiences thus far. It has allowed me the chance to reevaluate my priorities and how I go about leading.  It was also fun to think about how my leadership style has changed (or stayed the same) since high school.  Being surrounded by first year students reminded me of myself when two years ago when I was still trying to find my place at this big university.  I had a grasp on things, but wasn't totally sure where I fit in.  I've been able to apply this understanding of others better in some of student orgs better because of the interesting class dynamic (one of the student orgs I lead is all first year students).

I've also been able to apply some practices from The Art of Possibility, my partner book.  The book has challenged me to be more confident in myself and more positive about people and situations.  Recently, when situations seem frustrating rather than throwing in the towel I think to myself, "This is the way things are...so how are you going to react?" It has taken a lot of discipline but I feel like it is making me a better leader, bit by bit.  I try to think about the authors' patient understanding in situations and most importantly, to not take things so seriously. Nobody gets out alive, right? Might as well make the  most of things while we have the chance!

The last chapter of Exploring Leadership asked if I was an exhausted, existing, or exciting leader.  This gave me a lot to think about.  I thought of myself in different organizations and jobs and how I felt in each position.  There are some things where I just exist.  I show up. I do the bare minimum.  People say hello but conversation never never gets past the surface talk.  Other times, I'm excited and energized.  When I am doing the right things, everyone knows me as the most energetic person in the room without the need for caffeine.  I have a personal excitement for things I love and care about, but it is sometimes hard to distinguish what I actually care for and which I feel obligated to do.  I just said it's sometimes hard to distinguish, but at the same time looking at it now it seems pretty clear in my head the things I am passionate about.  I actually am excited for those! I don't mind going to meetings, in fact I look forward to them.

The last part of the awareness is exhausted.  Let me tell you, I have been there.  And I'm happy to say I'm not anymore.  There are days now when I'm tired sure, feel overwhelmed but never like how I used to be.  My sophomore year, I was completely in over my head in every aspect of my life. Tons of things were changing in my family and I wasn't totally sure where I fit in.  My roommate and I, who used to be my best friend, didn't speak anymore.  I had no idea what to do, so what did I do? I found every single way to never be at home and got involved in tons of things.  Pretty sure I was in like 6 organizations at one time. I laugh at that now and think, "Good one, Marlee." I was spread so thin and was beyond stressed all the time. It was kind of sad! Going into my junior year, I decided I just couldn't do that again.  Nobody likes that person that makes you feel stressed just by their presence.  So, I evaluated all my priorities and involvements.  What did I have to do? Class, work, sleep 7-8 hours. What did I love to do? Mentor, sing, hang out with friends. What was I doing just because? And with that, my life was way more manageable.  I no longer felt this heavy burden all the time.  It was funny reading this part in the book because even though I didn't know it, I was going through the three E's and defining them in my life.

One concept I think about differently since we discussed it in class in depth is the power and structure in an organization and how they are divided.  I usually just though most were and should be the traditional pyramid structure.  You've got the head honcho on top calling all the shots, the supporters, and then everyone else.  I never thought to flip that pyramid upside down and put the power into the people or to take it away completely and put everyone into a webbed circle. It also made me think about the organizations I'm in that have titles but that may not necessarily mean anything. Just because I am President, do I make decisions for me or driven by the group or do we all make decisions together?

This is my second leadership class and while neither was what I expected really, I think they have been important for me in evolving my leadership lens and skills.  By studying the different principles and ideas of leadership, I can make connections and for example, put the name of a theory into something I've always done.  It also opens my eyes to different ideas.  If everyone were exactly like me, despite what I may say, the world would be a very boring place.  Learning about the diversity in leadership has help me to become an accepting and open leader.  When you not only know how people work, but also how to make those same people work together better you are a true leader. The class has taught me that equally important as knowing who you are is knowing who you are leading.  These people will define your successes essentially and it is up to you to decide who you work with them.  Is it an arm's length or is it side by side?

I probably won't be taking anymore leadership classes in college because of the semester conversion and graduation so I will have to pursue my leadership education in different ways.  I think the classes I have taken have given me a good base to be a knowledgeable and aware leader.  They have opened the door for me to reach out to staff if I ever need help or advice.  By using that base, my experiences will define who I am as a leader ultimately.  Although reading a book about leadership has helped to heighten my awareness, my real lessons in leadership have come from actually experiencing things.  You can't just read something in a book and understand it.  You have to be challenged in real life to truly understand and make an impressionable mark.

I will continue to learn about leadership through these experiences I have had and will have.  It is about to be one crazy and pivotal year in my life so I know there will be plenty! I also really like to read books similar to The Art of Possibility.  While they may not always be "life changing" they help to remind me of ways to improve and become a better.  It puts my leadership on the forefront rather than the back burner and is a personal journey, rather than one shared with a class.

My personal philosophy on leadership is constantly evolving.  I just read my blogs from fall quarter and laughed at the things that have changed since then! But, there are a few things that have remained fairly constant for me.  I like to bring excitement and energy into a group.  Relationships are HUGE for me (woop woop Relational Leadership Model!) and I get my energy from working with others.  Something I always strive for is to lead by example.  I think there is no better way to lead than to be the definition of it. Alas, that is hard to do all the time and everybody is human and makes mistakes but it is something to work towards! Like Ben Z. said in The Art of Possibility, goals are there to work towards but you aren't a failure if you don't accomplish them.

                                                              My next "leadership" read!
I'm also happy! And I like to bring that sunshine to other people, but in a genuine way!  I really think sometimes laughter is the best medicine and the best way to bond with a group is not at a meeting but at dinner or getting drinks together on the weekend.  People shouldn't be scared to "get real" and find out who they are working with.  I like to do that.  I like to bring out the best in others.  I like to help people become a better versions of themselves (it's the Developer in me). So for me, leadership isn't just about me.  It's about you. And you. And you.  And that person over there too.   It's a group effort and as the cliche goes, there is no I in team!

Life is an adventure, so make the most of it!  I'm off to Chicago in a few days and I think as long as I remember everything I've learned in the last 3 years and beyond, I will be just fine. It's a little nerve racking at times, but I'm thinking of it as my next big adventure! So, see you in the Fall (or summer?) Buckeyes!  Until then...